Overcoming Food Guilt During the Holidays

There’s nothing that fills my heart more than enjoying an awesome holiday feast with loved ones.

But as a dietitian, I know that these meals can be really challenging for many of us. Whether is thoughts and opinions from others, or simply navigating our own relationship with food it can be really hard to let go and truly be present.

I want to dive into this topic in more detail this week and I hope by the end you feel a little more equipped with knowledge and tips for navigating these thoughts and feelings.

What is Food Guilt?

When I talk about food guilt, I am referring to feelings of shame after eating. Some of us may feel like we have been “bad” or done something wrong simply because of our food choices. It might be a similar feeling to breaking the rules as a kid.

Sometimes we obsess over this feeling and it leads to fear, anxiety, and sadness. We might be worried about weight gain or what others think about our food choices. We could also be worried about another disordered eating cycle beginning.

Have you ever said things like: “I shouldn’t eat this?”, “this food is SO bad”, “I’m going to need to run/work these calories off after”? If so, you may have been experiencing food guilt.

Unfortunately, food guilt is extremely common and has been normalized by the media.

Why Food Guilt is Harmful

The problem with food guilt is that when we obsess over our food choices and feelings of shame, it can lead to a host of other unhealthy behaviours. Things like extreme restriction and/or dieting, binge eating, overexercising, and even self-harm.

These behaviours can escalate and become very detrimental to both our physical and mental health. We may be more inclined to avoid social gatherings, or spend unnecessary money on supplements that promise to “fix” us.

Reframing Negative Thoughts

The truth is, there is nothing to “fix”. Life is meant to be enjoyed, and there truly is no “good” or “bad” when it comes to food. Food doesn’t have a moral value. Are there foods that we should maybe have less often? Sure. But that doesn’t mean that they can’t all fit into an otherwise healthy diet.

One of the most effective ways I’ve found to overcome these thoughts is through the process of reframing. It’s not an easy or natural thing to do, but with practice it gets easier. If you have read my previous post about post-partum body image, than this exercise may not be new for you. The process of reframing can be helpful in many different situations.

The Steps

1. Notice How You Are Feeling 

The first step to working through negative feelings is by simply acknowledging them. Try not to judge your feelings during this process. 

I like to start with a simple sentence: “I feel _____”.  

Sometimes negative thoughts can begin to spiral before we even realize it’s happening. The only way we can start to reframe them is to start noticing when this happens. 

2. Question Negative Thoughts

Why do you think you are feeling this way? Is this thought helpful or true? Do these thoughts occur more often in certain situations? What has your body experienced over the last year, or last few months? What is it experiencing now? What sort of experiences are likely to come? Are you overlooking any really positive things that have happened? 

It’s important to take time to reflect on how you feel and how things have and may continue to evolve in order to find a sustainable way of living healthily in the long term. 

3. Replace the Unhelpful Thought

Is there a way you can rephrase this thought that is more helpful and true?

An example of how to do this might be:

“No food is good or bad. Eating ___ is enjoyable to me. Eating ___ is not going to cause any immediate changes to my body. The only opinion that matters is my own.”  

I know that this process will not be easy, and may even feel awkward at first and that’s okay! The more that we practice these three steps the easier it becomes. 

Finding Food Freedom

Finding food freedom is hard. Our friends, family, and media often reinforce negative messages about food and body image. The best advice I have is to keep practicing reframing and set any necessary boundaries you need along the way.

My article last week has some great examples of things we can say when people make comments about our food choices. If those don’t work, you may need to create physical space between yourself and others while you navigate your own relationship with food and that’s ok.

Try to surround yourself with people who uplift you and only engage with positive messaging on social media. If you find yourself really struggling, it might be helpful to work with a regulated health professional for some individualized support.

Remember that your feelings are valid and try to be gentle with yourself. You’ve got this!

Wishing you all the best this holiday season!